28 Things You Didn't Know Other Riders Were Thinking About You

Image by TheOtherKev from Pixabay

The first show of the season is coming up. This might be the first season I've entered feeling as much like a trainer as I do a rider, competitor, and student. Previous years I didn't have as many students at a riding level to be showing. Or perhaps my students and peers weren't soliciting my advice as much as they do now.

With all the thoughts and questions running around the barn, which horse should I take, what divisions should I enter, will this go well, who do I ride the best, etc. I wanted to put the following list out into the ethos:

I respect the rider....

1. who is nervous but puts on a brave face
2. who is back in the saddle after a long break
3. who is still recovering mentally from a bad fall or injury
4. who is an old show veteran, but still takes time to help others who are new
5. who feels like an outsider but is giving it her all anyway
6. who chooses to do crossrails with a horse she loves instead of the highest division she is capable of as a rider
7. who takes a challenging horse, knowing they may not place well
8. who rides a lesson horse when all her friends own their own horse
9. who doesn't compare herself to others
10. who knows comparisons don't matter, but can't help but do it anyway
11. who is bold, brave, confident enough to not give a flying f*ck what anyone else thinks
12. who cares deeply and is bothered by what everyone else might think, but is battling through her own anxiety
13. who takes a horse that has been professionally trained and claims her own victories instead of wrongly attributing them to the trainer or the horse
14. who takes a horse who is quirky, has "bad" behaviors, personality, attitude, or just general opinions, and she makes no apologies about it
15. who takes the school master, doesn't necessarily place well, but refuses to beat themselves up over imagining what others might do with the same horse
16. who takes a horse to his first show, even though she may have doubts about her skill for the task
17. who has worked with one equine partner for a long time and now is working to trust someone new 
18. who cries and carries on
19. who falls off and gets back on
20. who forgets their courses more often than not but both tries hard and can laugh about it
21. who experiences mistakes and is so invested and passionate she can't help but feel them deeply in the moment
22. who grins and has the grandest time with her horse at a show
23. who cries but pets and hugs her horse through tears and frustration
24. who trains her own horse and doesn't allow herself to feel inferior for it
25. who cheers her friends on, despite her personal struggles of the day
26. who isn't showing today because she has physical, mental, financial, or familial needs that she has selflessly decided give priority
27. who isn't showing today because she is gifting her child that experience instead
28. who has trouble loving herself, but is putting in the good fight just by showing up that day

Image by Kasjan Farbisz from Pixabay

I am just as guilty as the next rider for being way too hard on myself, especially in a show context. It seems like the more goals I have, the more pressure I apply to myself.

If I'm being perfectly honest, I'm still working on how to have fun at shows. That should be the whole point. They are, after all, expensive, tiring, and stressful, so they should at least be fun. But probably more often than not, fun escapes me. I'm working on it.

For now, it means having fewer goals, maybe just smaller ones, not so many plans, and less detailed dreams. Eventually I think I can have big goals and still have fun, but I'm not there yet.

In the meantime I'm going to keep remembering this list and let it help me find a grander perspective. I hope it helps you all too.

P.S.

Male (and other) equestrians, this one goes out to all of you too! We just don't have hardly any men at our barn right now so I decided to write with a female viewpoint. But all genders are welcome, respected, and loved.